Dear Readers,I hope you will forgive me for not delivering the top-notch content you've come to expect over the last few days. My absence is for good reason though, as I have been spending almost every waking hour since my last dispatch experimenting with a drug called benzylpiperazine.
The miracle pill is a stimulant that a delightful pair of British club kids gave me while I was on-assignment covering the story of weightlifter Debra Smashtikovich. What I can tell you about this legal high is that I believe it will be a huge hit in the States, as it's effects are similar to amphetamine and ecstasy.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm writing this from a motor inn off Interstate 44 near Catoosa, Oklahoma that was procured by a soon-to-be importer of benzylpiperazine. I am very grateful that he allowed me to keep my notebook, and he assured me that I may soon be able to return home if I work off my debt.
In the meantime, I will do my best to return to a more consistent schedule, since you deserve a reliable What It Says About Me, regardless of whether I believe I'm being chased by a creature that's half dog, half dragon.
Yours truly,
Perry Fatone
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