As a child, Niles Crane was lightly taunted by classmates for having an unconventional name. After 1993, the name transformed into an inescapable social stigma, causing the young man to abandon plans to pursue a degree in psychiatry.
Dear Readers,
Dashaun Jordan's adoptive parents have always tried to keep their son out of the media spotlight due to his rare condition. His West Lake High School graduation photo (shown here) illustrates his affliction, despite Dashaun's attempts to be fashionable by styling his hair with gel and growing out a beard.
Miss Athena Fancypants plays World of Warcraft as Faelin, a Level 42 Paladin. Her WoW character is so alluring to some human players that they've begun propositioning her in reality, even though she sometimes accidentally hints at the fact she's a cat.
This photo was taken two years prior to Timmy Klinefelter becoming the first 13-year-old to have a stroke brought on by sheer embarrassment.
When the Chunichi Dragons signed Kosuke Fukudome in 1998, Masami Inu was assigned to be Fukudome's personal geisha for road trips. Now that Fukudome plays for the Chicago Cubs, she is a hot dog vendor.
After mastering Iron Maiden's "Run for the Hills," Rhode Island native Harold Murphy snorted a long line of cocaine and discussed ad nauseam his desire for Django Reinhardt's catalogue to be made of available on Guitar Hero.Dear Readers,
As he watched the pre-op transvestite make off with his Dickies shirt and SEXY belt, Fernando Ratontito knew life would never be the same again.
There's just something about the Kewl bros. Whenever they walk into a room, women swoon, and men want to be them. In fact, they are so admired that the Center of Disease Control has linked the Kewls to 73 percent of reported cases of HPV in the Los Angeles area.
Before achieving greatness as chewing tobacco masters in Major League Baseball, players including Lenny Dykstra, Terry Francona, and Jose Guillen all studied under Sensei Sunee Muai in a small village outside of Phuket.
Mike Valentino is one of the most popular members of the dating Web site, Eharmony. He credits his profile picture for laying the groundwork to romantic success.
Many female names have fallen out of favor, from Gladys to Eunice. It is difficult to say which ones will make a comeback, but there's a good chance the antiquated girl's name Asshole will never return to prominence. Due to this, Asshole Jacobs of Wilmington, Delaware encourages her children to consider the name for their own daughters.Dear Readers,
Some of us feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. Malcolm McSnuggles not only suffers from this sort of outlook, but also feels intense guilt over his red rocket issue.
Authorities recently found a weapons cache stockpiled by Miriam Clompston's Free Manistique Fantastique Militia. The Upper Peninsula Michigan housewife was able to escape arrest by using her trusty crossbow (pictured here) and kindly homespun charm.
Of Tina Walter's many talents, her ability sleep nearly anywhere after drinking a bottle of Hpnotiq is the most reliable.
After picking up his morning coffee, Fredrick McKay (aka Sprinkles the Completely Well-Adjusted Clown) grabs a seat on a bench and waits for his phone to ring. Unfortunately, the offers to perform at children's parties and car dealership openings have begun to thin out.
Swingers Tom and Carol Krackowski spent their entire Orlando vacation cruising for single mothers near the children's section of an amusement park. The photo above depicts the couple seconds after making one such sexual advance.Dear Readers,
Consider this couple armed and dangerous. Do not try to apprehend them, and do not look directly into the floral print of either fugitive's shirt. It has been known to set them off.
Ever since his parents forced him to get a job at the Lowe's, Bobby Gruph has been adamant in his opinion that everyone should be gainfully employed. Gruph has even begun harassing local transients.
A longtime technical adviser on Hollywood Westerns, Pappy Rose Eastwood now works at the Sudsy Puff Car Wash on La Cienega Boulevard. A brawl with Lou Diamond Phillips on the set of "Young Guns 2" has left the aging cowboy embittered.
Some Center City, Philadephia residents scramble when it starts raining due to widespread rumors that precipitation will dissolve private parts. Kareem Junkhandle is one young man gripped by this paranoia.
Nearly every Purim, violinist Shelomi Edelmann drinks a few quarts of Manishevitz Blackberry and proceeds to play the majority of the Charlie Daniels' catalogue. His Yiddish rendition of "Boogie Woogie Fiddle Country Blues" is usually where the performance derails.Dear Readers,
Ashley Taylor received a free electric blue wig with her purchase of breast implants. Her friends opted for feathered hats. Taylor and pals believe their new "fun" look will help attract men, presumably anime fetishists.
Muriel Cranston (back row, wearing blue scarf) is the leader of a small Presbyterian sect that espouses polygamy despite federal laws banning the practice. The men pictured are all Cranston's husbands.
Young Belmont is considered the black sheep of the celebrated Schimmerschmidt clan of Greenwich, Connecticut. His overzealous reaction to the availability of French onion dip frequently triggers his rage.
Friends of Clay Michaels often feel obligated to act tough and flash a "Mad Dog" facial expression when going out to the bars with him. They claim it wouldn't be necessary if Michaels would stop making "the gay face."
Hidden in the back of Jason Webster's medicine cabinet is a protractor and eyebrow pencil. He secretly uses the implements to create a pre-shave outline for his goatee.Dear Readers,
A year ago, Marty Schlienhower discovered that junior college students attend half-price wing night at a Shorewood, Illinois sports bar called the Bullpen. Now, he's a regular. Many of the young women from the college have recently started trading stories about how "that creepy guy at the Bullpen" has awkwardly propositioned them with chicken wing-related sexual innuendo.
Denise McCormick's daughter spent the first day of the pair's vacation in Paris walking 20 meters in front of her mother. At one point, the younger McCormick loudly voiced her objections to being able to see the impression of her mother's labia majora.
Thomas Jones recently discovered he is one-eighth Acoma Indian. Taking the name "Strolling Chipmunk," he now chants easy listening favorites with rattle accompaniment in the parking lot of the Golden Eagle Casino in Horton, Kansas.
For the Halloween Ball, Kevin Mancans opted for the sexy caveman look. Most of his fellow partygoers failed to recognize the costume, and refrained from getting close enough to ask for clarification. Meanwhile, whenever a female happened to venture near Mancans, he would flash the sign for a maneuver commonly referred to as "The Shocker."
Lake Havasu, Arizona bartender Janelle Baylon has a way about her -- a charm that allows her male suitors to overlook the fact that she frequently wets the bed.Dear Readers,
Some cultures believe that a photograph steals a piece of the soul of its subject. Blanche Robinson puts this theory into practice. In her Upper West Side co-op, she's stockpiled over 550 souls. Fortunately, they can be easily stored in Tupperware.
There are parts of Texas where FedEx refuses to deliver. However, broadband is accessible, so Paco Monitorador loads up his donkey Julio, and makes sure even the poor and disadvantaged have the ability to see what they're computing.
Robert Topper happily obliged when his lover asked him to spend an entire day recreating a scene from the film, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." When the photos showed up on the site bearforest.com, the couple decided to split.
Tim Waldenstein's girlfriend Colleen looked upon the canvas and proceeded to point out contrasting hues, dissonant juxtapositions, and themes of urban alienation. As Tim nodded, he wondered who would win in fight between a tiger and a jackal.
In gentlemen's clubs throughout Central Ohio, Ryan Drustan is known simply as "Tubby Stub Hub." The name came about due to his penchant for slipping Ohio State football tickets into the g-strings of dancers.Dear Readers,
Four months prior to this photo being taken, a shared love of the Yonder Mountain String Band enabled Bode Brock to sleep with a high school senior he had just met. The resulting pregnancy shattered Brock's comfy existence as a pizza deliverer and percussionist in a Peter Tosh cover band.
Cleveland resident Emily Dombroski was given the name "Circe Flame" by fellow LARPer and postal worker Terry Michael (aka White Wolf Wizard). Dombroski is interested in interactive literature, and freeform role-playing, but what she likes most is pretending that she may one day grant White Wolf the opportunity to lose his virginity.
Chow Yun Wang was originally charging $19.95 per hug. After getting little interest, he lowered the price.
Todd Magness and his roommate Carl had nearly polished off an entire bottle of Early Times when the pair decided it was time to hook up the Xbox and play Halo Wars. Then it got weird.Dear Readers,